‘Break the silence,’ says survivor of abuse behaviour during awareness week

Victim-survivor Chloe had got to the point she felt like taking her own life after being in a controlling coercive relationship where she was cut off from her friends and family and left living in a tent.

During No More Week this week (2-8 March), which aims to shine a spotlight on domestic abuse and sexual violence, Chloe speaks about her experiences as a victim of controlling and coercive behaviour and encourages victims to report to the police or seek support.

Around a fifth of all calls to Norfolk Police relate to domestic violence and it’s a crime we know impacts heavily on victims, their families, friends and whole communities.

Chloe, now in her 20s, began a relationship when she was still in her late teens in March 2019. At first, she says it felt exciting but when her former partner became jealous of her relationship with her mum, and she was being isolated from friends and made to feel worthless she began having doubts.

“It became like daily torment.  My money was being taken and my belongings, like my phone. I felt completely alienated and lost contact with family and friends. At one point I was homeless as I did not feel I could leave the relationship. Just knowing I could reach out to someone, even though I was struggling, meant so much,” says Chloe.

Chloe reported what was happening to the police after speaking to her support worker and her former partner was arrested and appeared at court and was sentenced to two years in prison for controlling and coercive behaviour.

Chloe spoke to Norfolk Constabulary to help raise awareness around some of the issues she faced and the help she received.

“I hope that by telling my story, I can help others to come forward and report what’s happened to them and help break the silence around these kinds of crimes. It wasn’t easy to report what was happening and didn’t happen quickly, but the police never gave up on me.”

Detective Superintendent Pippa Hinds said: “Everyone deserves to feel safe and we want those impacted by domestic abuse or sexual abuse to feel confident to report their experiences to the police. This includes the right to feel believed.

“We are grateful Chloe is helping to break the silence for victim-survivors and speak about her experiences. Raising awareness of domestic abuse and offences such as coercive control, stalking and sexual violence can encourage victims to seek help. If you do not feel comfortable reporting to police there are many support organisations you can contact.

“We continue to work with our partners in the charity sector, health, local councils and the Police and Crime Commissioner for Norfolk to provide support. We would always urge those impacted by abuse to seek support to protect themselves and their families from future harm, whether they intend to report the crime to the police or not.”

The nature of these crime types mean that everyone has to be part of changing harmful attitudes and behaviours, particularly in the arena of violence against women and girls.

We will be sharing Chloe’s experiences on our social media platforms under #NoMore and #BreakTheSilence.

We know domestic abuse can take many forms, as well as physical abuse, there is also psychological abuse. Victims can also be subject to controlling and coercive behaviours, for example, controlling finances and tracking them everywhere they go.

You can read about domestic abuse, controlling and coercive behaviours, stalking and sexual offences here>> https://www.norfolk.police.uk/police-forces/norfolk-constabulary/areas/campaigns/campaigns/VAWG/

Anyone who is in immediate danger should contact 999 or use our Silent Solution service - call 999, then press 55 on the keypad to alert police if you cannot talk or make a sound, police will know this is a domestic abuse call and will respond. Call 101 in non-emergencies.

If you are not ready to speak to the police there are a number of support organisations and services, including The Harbour Centre (Sexual Assault Referral Centre) and NIDAS (Norfolk Integrated Domestic Abuse Service) for those assessed to be high or medium risk. 

See support services covering support for men, women and those from diverse communities>> https://www.norfolk.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/support-organisations/